Two Super-Short Stories

Inspired by this Reddit thread. http://www.reddit.com/r/shortstories

Tick Tock Tick Tock
As a child afflicted with autism, he hated going to school. He hated the alarm for the clock to get up and get ready for school. 

Tick Tock, Tick Tock, before the alarm went off, the clock went. 

Oh! He hated it to no end. 'Stop it mommy, the clock is ticking away like a bomb' he would scream.

And ma, poor ma, would always put a loving and caring hand on his head. Caressing his sweet brown tuft of hair, she would say, 'Don't worry honey, the clock means no harm. It only wants to wake you up. It wants to tell you that its time to wake up.' 

One day he made up his mind and got up on time even before the clock rang its alarm. But he saw his mommy wasn't around anymore. She was tired and people didn't have time for him. Crying for ma, he went back to sleep. 

Then he realized that the clock's noise could also put him to sleep. Tick Tick, Tick Tock. Tick Tock.

He has never hated it ever since.
 
FIN.


Tattoo
She was tired of finding love. Finally she gave up and thought, I will go and get a tattoo to tell people how much I love being single. She went to the studio and asked for a happy single bird. As the tattoo artist worked his magic on her arm, she fell in love with the artist. Finally it was done and she was sadder than before. Worse still, she couldn't discard the tattoo either.

No, she didn't get the tattoo erased because she couldn't bear the thought of losing out on the memory of the tattoo artist and his magic but because laser treatment is such a bitch. 

FIN.

Thanks-But-No-Thanks!

I dreamt of her every day and night

But perhaps she was right

She was meant for someone else who took her away

And I kept looking for her in the fray

Still I smiled for him when he passed away

Coz he saved from great danger that had almost come my way

P.S. - (The joke goes by this) A man sees a fellow crying uncontrollably at someone's grave. The fellow was shouting out loud, why did you have to die, why, why, why! So he asks the man asks him, I am sorry for your loss. I am sure some one near and dear to you has passed away. Was it your wife, or parents?

The fellow screams, "Noooo - this is the grave of the ex-husband of my CURRENT wife!!"

P.P.S - You have been warned :-)

May I habb your naim plieass - AKA - One year at a Call Centre

Okay, so to be honest, I actually spent 15 months working as a CSR- customer service representative at one of these so called BPO - business process outsourcers based in Powai (I know - nice place -yet horrible traffic issues). The first 12 months were just out of sheer necessity and the last three months were passed in the hope of getting the bonus worth 1.5 times of salary. Please don't ask how much it was. It was effing *peanuts* in the days of recession :(

Anyways, had some good times and some real phucked up moments there. Starting with the good times, I made some really cool friends and some of them are in touch with me on a regular basis. We shared a good rapport with our trainers and supervisors and my gang had all sorts of people. There was this mature yet shy guy who went on to be counted among the best people that I have known so far. Sadly he left the company within 3 months of joining it. He just couldn't take the pleasure in hearing out the so called Goras - from Amrica cry about their financial problems and then ask for an exorbitant amount for the financial process that we worked for. On the other hand, there was this ever sleeping colleague who used to sleep on live calls so confidently that we used to get scared and pinch her to make her wake up and take another call. Couldn't blame her, most of the calls were so depressing that many of my colleagues used to drop out within months.

I have had some pretty weird experiences myself - Some of the callers were so open that they used to share their entire day happenings with us and I had this one customer who called and told me solemnly that he cant make the payment for the month because He was into GAMBLING. WTH - yeah I wanted to ask him why was he telling this to me. He just mentioned that he was rich yet addicted to gambling and he didn't know why he wanted to confide in me. Maybe it was my whispering voice (Yes I Can Whisper as well).

On another occasion, I had to take this long call which eventually got transferred to my supervisor, yet I had ensured that I remained calm and understanding. My supervisor started laughing as soon as she took the call. The reason - the customer couldn't gauge out that I was a male from my voice and told my sup that he shouldn't be hard on me, bcoz "Jackson(My pseudo name for calls) was very sweet and she tried her best to help me, it's just that I wanted to confirm, whatever she had said). Major face-palm moment for me. We used to have at least one customer proposing to us on a daily basis.

(Sigh - And I am still single!)

Ohh! Did, I mention that I was the executive that was most likely to pass with the best grades for the OJT-on job training test to hit the floor. I didn't right! Well to tell you the truth, I failed the first OJT test. MISERABLY.- Period. And what happened was as follows:

On test day, we had a senior supervisor take mock calls with us to test our skills:

Call starts

Me: Customer Relations, My name is Abc. May I have you name please?

Supervisor-aka-mock-customer: Hi, my naim is Lizaaa (Pronunciation in amrican, pliss don't mind)

Me: Thanks a laat Lizaaa and how may I assissth you?

Supervisor-aka-mock-customer: Oh, I just wanna know if I paid my minimum, then would I be able to get the maximum benefits out of my chard?

Me: No Lizaa, if you just phay the minimum then you will forever keep on phaying interest, so in the long run, you know yada yada yada...

To make a long story short.... I kept on trying to convince her, that I was trying to help her by giving her the best information and the moral of the story was, I was being detrimental to the financial of my own employer....so they failed me.

So I had to undergo the training process again and the story continued for another 12 months.

P.S. BTW - 2 months later, the same jokers award me the Best New Customer Service Representative for the quarter of Dec 2008 based on feedback from Customers in Amrica... Go figure why!!

p.p.s - Dat is all.. and no I did not get a call from Gawd :P I am not C-Bag you c

I dream about you

I dream of you all day,
Because I can't sleep at night
thinking that you are on your way.
Fate destined us to meet,
yet I never saw you again.
I still catch the same train,
hoping to see you again, come running across the lane.

I remember how my heart fluttered and my voice shuttered,
when I saw you the last time.
You may not know that you lost someone to the perils of life,
because it was me stealing glances while you were busy hoping places.

Oh! how I wish, that we never met,
then there would have been no regret.
I have lost all my feelings yet I yearn only for you,
you may never come back yet I will look out for only you.

Deep inside, I know that you were never meant to be mine
But I feel that's fine.
On the day that the twain's meet
from HIM - all answers shall I seek,
was this love or just a dream.

Maybe he will speak and tell me why
I think of you, yet never cry
A faint smile on your face was all that I care of till then
May we meet soon
AMEN

Blog Testing

Hmmp.

So after so much deliberation, I thought of a name for the blog to be named Barking Crows.
Actually the only unique name that I could think off. I thunked so hard that my knees had a migraine. It was raining and saw a dead crow on the road and dogs were barking. Anyways, the name sounds weird, so I think I can relate it to myself, no?

I would like to dedicate this blog to myself and my followers (narcissistic ain't I? :P ). Plan to update more and more about the travails and plans of my life by Gawd Almighty! Appreciate your valuable comments and feedbacks. Trolls and Desperate Orkutiyas....well.... You are welcome as well as long as you don't scare my good viewers away!

Blog testing is complete. And no I don't read my Wren and Martin so please excuse me for my baad english


P.S.--No crows or dogs were harmed in the process of the creation of this blog.
Pliss visit again to win exciting prizes

(Ok. Sorry no prizes, right now, we have just come out of the economic meltdown remember... Just wanted to ensure that you come back)


P.P.S. --- Just in case Jai Maharashtra (Nvr know when Raj has a look at my blog)

Testing 1...2....3.... OUT
Thank You